‘Well, M. Poirot, what does one do? Go to Inspector Grange and say – what does one say to a moustache like that? It’s such a domestic, family moustache.’

Poirot’s hand crawled upwards to his own proudly borne adornment.

‘Whereas mine, Mademoiselle?’

‘Your moustache, M. Poirot, is an artistic triumph. It has no associations with anything but itself. It is, I am sure, unique’

‘Absolutely.’

Those who know about moustache grow a pride for their adornment, which, you will understand, cannot be explicated. From Hercule to Hercule, have confided in each other many times. Much we have in common and much we have talked about.

Moustache. The gentlemen of atomike studio have pictured some of the most distinguished mustache, starting with the world’s most famous plumber, Mister Mario, also known as Super Mario for his ability to master difficult situations (I suspect Mister Luigi’s moustache being slightly touched up – possibly for excessively willing to keep up the pace with Mario. I told Luigi many times that he has nothing to envy to Mister Mario).

But do not take all the moustache for Gospel truth. There are some who put their moustache to a bad use. Mister Maurizio Costanzo, for instance, has some terrible and trivial moustache. I wonder what went through these gentlemen’s minds to base their shirts’ commercial on such a cheap moustache.

I would like to mention two facts, about this Maurizio Costanzo, supporting a theory which I have been developing for some time, according to which behind a bad moustache might hide a bad person:

1.
In 1980 [..] he is involved in the scandal following the retrieval of a list of members of the Masonic lodge P2. His member card is number 1819 (his file number 626) with the Masonic title of ‘master’.

2.
In June 2007 the piece of news caused a sensation (reported by the newspaper Il Giornale) of the showman supposedly being paid by Telecom 7 millions Euros for his consultancy services. This discovery by the Guardia di Finanza corps, whitin the investigation about the communication company’s expenses, has been confirmed by Costanzo himself, who maintains the complete regularity of these operations. The Guardia di Finanza corps have nevertheless found no record of the professional services that would explain such expenses.

Going back to the moustache – moustache don’t lie, it is a unique feature.
The true moustache, that which arouses emotions and opens minds towards wider thinking - elates the individual, mirrors creativity, iconizes the person – Poirot, Mario Bros, Dalì, Chaplin are all exceptional testimonials.
Still the moustache is a mighty instrument and can create real monsters when misused.

We have seen how Maurizio Costanzo even used his little moustache for commercial purposes – the deceiving moustache – and became with time a wicked person plotting against the nation and involved in murky matters.

Having mentioned Mario, I cannot fail to mention his alter ego: Wario.

Wario, is intended, has a moustache which is, to say the least, out of place. It is not comparable to Costanzo, but still it  is a moustache of a very bad taste. It lacks tact and with such a nose it is a proper offence to Etiquette. Wario is in fact greedy, clumsily coloured, rough-edged and wicked. I am not surprised that is not really popular in the Mushroom Kingdom.

More Moustache. It was 1935 when Charles Darrow patented a game called Monopoly. This board game claims to be “the most played (commercial) board game in the world.” It is easy to guess why. The Monolpoly logo again exploits the moustache as a means of gathering attention.

The moustache has contributed to make this game the most played in the world. Still, this moustache has no tact, no style.

It is like an outdated cliché.

The colour is obviously fake, as you can see in this image. This imperfection is unavoidably mirrored in the game itself which, you may have noticed, is tediously boring after playing a while. I am sure that a better moustache would have made a better game.

I will end this reflection mentioning another terribly wrong moustache – the worst of those I mentioned before. The psychopath Adolf Hitler had some very tipical moustache, which are still very typical nowadays.

It suffices to have a look at tha moustache to realize how ridiculous he is.
I can barely look at that hairy thingy but I feel the urge to turn my eyes away. He looks like an air-inflated rabbit. I do not want to state that the responsibility for all his atrocious deeds must go to his moustache – of course not – but we all know history and that thingy cannot be a coincidence.

Some know-it-alls might raise their hands now and could suggest that my dear friend Charlie Chaplin’s are the same of Adolf the psychopath. I hope you are not among those – I would be extremely disappointed.

Of course, it is not simple to apprecieate the essence of the moustache and the people who put thier moustache to a bad use are an evidence of it. So for those who are a bit slow and cannot effectively use their gray matter, here is a small hint.

This is a very clever ad. “It’s the hat.”
Of course there is much more to it  than a hat, but it is well a witty simplification.
With just a little, that thingy becomes – to say it with Miss Henrietta Savernake – ‘an artistic triumph. It has no associations with anything but itself. It is, I am sure, unique’.